A visible shift is taking place in how masculinity looks, feels, and functions in 2025. Traditional ideas built on toughness, restraint, and dominance are losing their grip. In their place, a new expression is gaining ground—one that welcomes softness, femininity, and self-definition. Often labeled as “girly guys,” these men are not performing for approval. They are rejecting rigid gender rules and choosing authenticity instead.
This cultural change shows up in fashion, media, relationships, and online spaces, where femininity is no longer treated as a weakness when seen in men. It is treated as a language of self-awareness, comfort, and freedom.
A Pair of Shoes That Changed Everything
For Estevan Reyes Peña, the shift began with a pair of black leather Mary Jane Doc Martens. The appeal came from their slim shape and delicate edge, paired with a toughness that felt right. That contrast mattered. The shoes, often labeled feminine, created clarity—not just about style, but about values.
Reyes Peña described the moment as a “huge click.” It shaped how wardrobes, identity, and daily choices came together. Years later, those shoes still matter. They reflect a personal style that moved from skater-punk into something more fluid, leaning alt-femme and intentionally uncategorized.
“This is a shoe that is viewed as very feminine, but it’s so sick and hardcore,” Reyes Peña told Popsugar.
Dressing Soft While Living Loudly
View this post on Instagram
Reyes Peña now documents feminine-inspired outfits on Instagram through @tevistuff, including looks worn to a corporate tech job outside Salt Lake City. Outfits often mix skirts, rings, dangling earrings, and earth-toned layers. A goatee and boxier frame might suggest a conventional masculine appearance, yet clothing tells a different story.
Some videos, including one showing how a mid-calf skirt is styled, have drawn tens of thousands of views. Supportive comments dominate the feed. The response reflects a broader cultural mood rather than a niche interest.
According to Reyes Peña, “girly” is no longer an insult. It functions as praise. That shift, once unthinkable, speaks volumes.
“There’s a huge reclaiming of what it means to be ‘girly,’” Reyes Peña said.
From Insult to Affirmation
Language around masculinity has changed quickly. Words like “effeminate,” once used to shame, now hold less weight. Five years after Harry Styles appeared on the cover of Vogue in a dress, public reaction has matured. The novelty faded. Acceptance followed.
Celebrity culture mirrors this turn. Figures such as Bad Bunny, Timothée Chalamet, Nic Van Steenberghe, and Pedro Pascal present softer, gender-fluid aesthetics on the red carpet. The energy feels intentional but unforced. On TikTok, these men are often labeled “boys who wish they were hot girls,” a phrase shared playfully rather than critically.
Straight men, especially those dating women and femmes, are now included in this shift. Online conversations even frame “gay allegations” as a positive signal. Creator Evan Lazarus summed it up in a widely shared video:
“Your boyfriend should have allegations of being gay… He should have a few hobbies that don’t make sense, and dress in a way that upsets his parents but brings joy to you.”
Reyes Peña recognizes that sentiment well. His partner regularly sends similar videos. Though his partner is a woman and Reyes Peña identifies as pansexual, assumptions around sexuality no longer feel threatening. What once had to be hidden now reads as honesty.
Why Soft Masculinity Resonates Right Now
Instagram | jbayleaf | Bailey’s "Sexiest Man Alive" title marks a historic shift in cultural recognition.
The appeal of softer masculinity extends far beyond social media. Straight women, bisexual women, and queer women have shown growing interest in men who express vulnerability and warmth. That shift is visible in pop culture reactions, where warmth is no longer seen as a drawback.
Jonathan Bailey’s recognition as the first openly gay Sexiest Man Alive by People marked a tangible moment of cultural evolution. At the same time, Jacob Elordi’s rising star comes from a mix of vulnerability and self-assuredness, not just screen presence.
Fiction reflects the same trend. Characters like the hockey players in Heated Rivalry gain appeal by showing emotional depth without keeping viewers at arm’s length.
The popularity of this “soft masculinity” signals fatigue with traditional emotional distance. It emphasizes presence, empathy, and curiosity.
A Cultural Divide Running in Parallel
Despite this momentum, resistance persists. Online communities and the “manosphere” continue to promote dominance and cruelty as core to masculinity. Certain public figures insist a man must appear powerful to matter—but everyday reality challenges that narrative.
Men like Reyes Peña benefit from freedoms shaped by feminist and gender-expansive activism, often led by women of color. That groundwork made experimentation safer. It also created room for men to question inherited roles without losing dignity.
“Women, and especially POC women,” Reyes Peña noted, are central to why this freedom exists.
The Female Gaze and Personal Style
View this post on Instagram
Another voice in this movement is Vitor Arruda, a creator known for styling feminine-inspired outfits while speaking directly to plus-size men. His videos focus less on trends and more on comfort and shape.
Arruda often talks about dressing from the “female gaze.” This does not mean dressing to attract women. It means applying softness, intuition, and attention to form when choosing clothes.
Arruda explains that dressing for the male gaze often results in outfits that feel flat and predictable. Viewing style through a feminine lens brings in texture, movement, and contrast, making each look feel considered and natural rather than stiff.
This approach supports self-trust over performance.
Performance vs. Personal Truth
Critics sometimes reduce girly guys to trend-chasers. Tote bags, rings, and soft tailoring are dismissed as aesthetic bait. Reyes Peña’s long-used tote bag even became a running joke online. Still, that framing misses the point.
A performative male adopts a soft demeanor for attention or validation. A girly guy discovers something previously denied. The difference lies in motivation.
Reyes Peña does not dress to compete. The clothes reflect internal alignment rather than strategy.
“I want to dress how I feel,” Reyes Peña said. “And I don’t feel very masculine. So I’m dressing for myself.”
This movement is not about rejecting masculinity altogether. It is about releasing the pressure to prove it. Femininity, when allowed into men’s lives, adds range rather than removing strength. It supports emotional literacy, creativity, and self-respect.
As more men step away from performative masculinity, the definition continues to widen. The result feels less like rebellion and more like relief.